"How Bout Dat: A Collection of Concepts" is a zine about topics that I feel could use more conversation. For the uninitiated, a zine is short for magazine. Historically, they have been a medium for DIY artists, poets, writers, ranters, protestors, and pretty much anyone with anything they find worth sharing. You can draw, write, put snapchat pictures, really anything. For those of you interested in making your own, or just for the sake of knowledge, here's a PDF with a short history of zines, just click the image.
Initially, this zine was going to be about fictitious bands and songs I would compose by "them" (inspired by Spinal Tap and Tenacious D). Although I liked that concept, I wanted to compose something more intimate. Eventually I scrapped the idea and started from the bottom. Before I really had a theme, I began writing about things that were currently going on in my life, one of them concerning masturbation.
Four months prior to publishing this zine, I went down a road of experimentation that included abstaining from pornography, orgasm, and, ultimately, masturbation. I had begun to notice a trend in my emotional state whenever I would masturbate; the quick high was hardly substantial and would occasionally leave me feeling sullen. I also noticed that after watching porn, I tended to sexualize and fantasize many situations, which grew distracting. Aside using it because I was horny, I would often use it subconsciously out of boredom, to procrastinate, and to escape from reality. I noticed these were common reasons why people would over eat and abuse drugs. I read about people using forms of abstinence to rewire their brain's reward system, similarly to how people would recover from drug dependency. Although I felt masturbation only interfered with my life minimally, something about this information resonated with me.
So, I decided to try it out. The first few days (let alone weeks) were a wake up call. I realized how hooked my brain was to porn and masturbating. I had made it a habit and cutting it out shocked my body. I was primal. Hung like a goose. After the first two weeks, my libido chilled out. A lot. This actually freaked me out. Did I break my weiner?? I tempted myself with some erotic images and, sure enough, my libido surged back stronger than ever, which was reassuring to say the least. This made me realize that I very much wanted to keep my sexuality. However, I wanted to use it in the sacred context that it rightfully belongs; in a loving relationship.
In this zine I speak more about the history of masturbation and it's social context than my experience. I also mention veganism and the connotation of the title, learning to sing, and one of my favourite topics, psychedelics. I specifically talk about an experience that went south and the journey about getting back home. Drugs are incredibly powerful. So is Love.
(Click the Image at the top to view PDF)